We are expecting baby #3, who is an “unexpected blessing”, to make his arrival in less than a month. So, now is crunch time to get our act together and start getting things ready for a new little one, and me being out of commission for a little bit. I wanted to reflect a little bit on the journey I have been on for the last 8 months as I prepare to go from a mom of two to a mom of three. I am going to share this in several different post to keep you from having to read one long post.
I found out in December that I was unexpectantly pregnant. I cried off and on for 4 days when I first found out we had another little one on the way. I was already feeling overwhelmed with an almost 4 year old and an 18 month old in addition to the commitments we already had and the holidays. We went to the Christmas concert at our church and I really thought about how Mary felt when she was told by the angel Gabriel that she was going to be the mother of Christ. Talk about an unexpected pregnancy! I really thought about the emotional roller coaster that she must have been on – the public shame, having her fiancé believe her story, the rumors and whispering she had to endure. I realize that our circumstances are not identical, but I began to relate to Mary in the Christmas story in a way that I hadn’t before. I began to accept in my mind and in my heart that a third child was what God had planned for us.
I have to admit that although I was beginning to accept the thought of being the mother of three, I was dealing (and some days I still am) with the realities that being a mother of three is going to bring. I started thinking about nursing a baby again. Although that can be a sweet and wonderful bonding time with a little one, honestly it can be down-right inconvenient and time consuming, especially those first few months. I began to think about having another child in diapers. I realized that by the time baby #3 is potty trained I will have changed diapers for about 6 –7 years straight. I began to think about the logistics of our daily lives. There are some days that getting out of the house alone with the girls is a huge challenge, and I thought about adding in a new baby to the mix. I know it sounds like I am only dwelling on the negative. I don’t think that it is pessimistic of me, but realistic. I was also dealing with feeling worse during my first trimester than I had with either of my previous pregnancies. I am sure that being older, and chasing around two little ones who never seem to run out of energy had something to do with it, but the nausea never seemed to go away. It actually didn’t go away until I was almost 16 weeks into my pregnancy. I was thankful for all of the snow that we had this past winter. It gave me an excuse to slow down, stay in, and just lay on the couch. The girls read lots of books and watched lots of videos.
I had a friend that was expecting her second child at the end of January. I knew that once I had a chance to visit with her and see and hold the newborn baby that the reality of having a newborn would go to the back of my mind and that I would remember the sweet newborn smell, how precious it is when a newborn snuggles up to your neck when you have them propped up on your shoulder, and how sweet and innocent they are when they are asleep cradled in your arms. The girls and I went over one afternoon to bring them lunch and visit with them. The visit did help me think about how special it is, even with the craziness, to be given this little blessing.
I made it through my first trimester still feeling yucky, but thankful for the blessing we were being given. I also had several of my worries relieved when I found out we were only having one baby. (There are twins on both sides of my family.) I also had some extra testing done due to my “advanced” maternal age. (I had just turned 35.) We wouldn’t have terminated the pregnancy, but it was a relief to know that everything looked good and that we didn’t need to start thinking about special circumstances.
I will share more in a few days.